Hult: The Journey So Far
I’ve been in Boston now for just about 2 months and personally, I’ve experienced so many feelings and emotions in such a short period of time. So, what does it feel like to adjust to a new environment in foreign territory?
As human beings living in a realistic world, it's important to not romanticize everything. Yes, it can add a bit of magic to life, but I think it’s essential to find a balance. When I got accepted to Hult I created this vision within my mind of how life would be. That I would make great new lifelong friends before stepping foot on campus, (I know a bit irrational, but remember what I said about romanticizing?), have a busy social life and participate in everything I could at Hult. I placed so much pressure on myself to be living a different life from the one I was previously living before moving to Boston.
I spent a lot of my free time when I first arrived on every social media platform I could find involving Hult. I wanted to know everyone and everything going on. The thing about social media is that it’s a great way to connect us to the rest of the world. It lets us show the world what we’re doing within our lives (mostly positive stuff). That’s great, but being consumed by others personal lives can sometimes make yours feel…empty. It leaves you wanting to compare your life to theirs, which over time and considering certain circumstances can be unhealthy.
So here I was, my first weeks in Boston, on my own, trying to live up to this “social life” pressure that I placed on myself while seeing everything that everyone was doing on social media. It seemed like everyone had already met their long-life friends and I was just sitting at home, too shy and nervous to meet up with people. It left me feeling really overwhelmed which now reflecting on the matter probably opened the floodgates to my next feelings.
Yes, I was homesick. I didn’t think that was quite possible seeing how I’m only 7 hours away from home and I’ve lived away from home before with roommates. This feeling of homesick to me felt more like boredom and I was envious of what I could be doing if I were back home; like hanging out with friends and just being in my own space. And of course, the fact of not being able to physically see my family didn’t help either.
But, what right did I have, to feel homesick? I was so lucky, I was in my first apartment on my own attending a school that I really enjoyed. Why was I feeling like this? When I traveled aboard without my parents I never once felt homesick, I didn’t even call them. And then I realized, I was homesick because I was allowing myself to feel that way. The constant sitting at home, calling my parents too much, continuously checking social media and being reminded of what everyone else was doing was making me homesick. I knew that I had to get out of this state of mind and make an effort.
When you get older you become more self-aware. You find out things about yourself and you try to understand those things and maybe even try to change them. Something I’ve learned about myself is that internally I can be too self-aware. I think everyone is focused on me (which consciously I know isn't true.) With that being said this feeling sometimes hinders me from doing things completely on my own. I feel intimidated by the world around me. So, trying to break that homesick feeling by going out on my own was pretty hard.
As time passed I managed to venture out on my own slowly. A lot of which was unavoidable and uncomfortable, but I began to feel so much better. The homesickness started to fade. I’m still trying to work up the courage to do other things on my own and invite others along with me. It won’t happen overnight, but being comfortable means no growth.
Finally, within these last two months, I’ve already learned so much about Hult and myself. I’ve joined clubs, aced presentations, stepped out of my comfort zone, and made connections with people from different parts of the world. So far, my Hult journey hasn’t gone the way I romanticized it back in December, but life doesn’t work that way. I wouldn’t change the feelings I first felt when I arrived here, it pushed me to learn more about myself. Now reflecting, what I’m left feeling is excitement, about the positive things to come and the challenges I’ll face and overcome.